Periodically, a friend of mine and I will joke that I am a believer in the “grumpy gospel.”  I tend to have a very serious streak, and like a lot of city rats, can be pretty intense at times.  Artists also tend to have an edge, and I have a pretty sharp one.  So when I get that way, my friend laughs and says, “uh-oh, here come the grumpy gospel!”

Invariably, I respond in my best gravelly New Yawk accent “TRY HARDER.”  That usually breaks the flow of my intensity, and we have a good laugh.

Sadly though, many good Christian people are advocates of the grumpy gospel.  And it isn’t a joke.  They have traded the inside out gospel of Jesus Christ for something else, a form of godliness that denies the power.  Many times these dear ones are forced to live lives of “quiet desperation” to quote Thoreau.

The other day I was walking to my train and I passed the long row of free newspapers that you see in larger cities.  One of them was the Bay Windows, the local paper of the gay community.  As I looked, I recognized the man on the front page, the leader of a well-known “ex-gay” ministry.

“Another one bites the dust,” I thought to myself.  The leader had recently left the ministry, said that he was always gay, and that he had never experienced the victory that he claimed in public.  Sadly, this double life of outward sanctity and inward misery was forced on others as well as a method of healing.  I am not saying that all ministries dealing with same-sex issues are fraudulent–because I can recommend several.  What I am saying is this man came to a place, with all the spiritual disciplines, all of the “accountability,”  all of the the pressure to look a certain way to the Christian community, where he finally cracked up and got real.  It wasn’t working, it was hurting him, and hurting others, and I bet he was pretty grumpy.

I know for myself, in my own struggles with sexual sin, that outward efforts often made my situation worse.  You can’t make a broken heart better with an hour long accountability group.  It’s like trying to stop a massive wound where the patient is losing blood with a little band-aid.  It isn’t going to happen.

I remember when my life really hit bottom, I had someone hand me a book and tell me all I needed to do was memorize more scripture.  Ironically, I had spent eight years in seminary, and already earned two degrees in Bible.  Not only had I memorized scripture, I had memorized it in the original languages.  Big deal.

Another well meaning person said all I needed was more accountability.  Fortunately, people are starting to come clean about accountability groups.  Most of the time they fail because they are driven by fear.  I take that back, they work for people who really are fairly healthy, and “have it all together.”  But for the rest of us, they only make our problems worse.  Accountability is often another masquerade for the grumpy gospel–just try harder this week and bring us a good report next time around. (That is not to say that open transparent relationships with others aren’t important, they are very important, and you need other people in your life.)

It took me years of this cycle of failure before someone explained to me the real gospel.  You know that one, the one Paul says he’s not ashamed of because it is the power of God for salvation (Romans 1:18).  Someone sent me to Romans 8, and I read these words:

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, for the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death.

The grumpy gospel is the law of sin and death.  Paul describes it in Romans 7.  I am still amazed how many people preach and teach Romans 7 as if Romans 8 doesn’t exist.  But Romans 8 does exist:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the spirit of sonship.  When we cry “Abba, Father!” it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God. (Romans 8:15-16)

The real gospel is a gospel where God, through the Holy Spirit, puts himself, Jesus Christ inside you.  And then, if we let him, Jesus begins to live in and through us to transform us from the inside out, and we begin to look like Jesus.  In another place Paul puts it this way,  “the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self control, against these there is no law.”

The real gospel makes slaves and servants into friends and sons.  The real gospel is not based on what you do, but who and Whose you are.   It is not based on trying harder or performing more successfully, it is based on being in relationship with someone who loves you and wants to make you the truest version of yourself.  Anything else is a pretty cheap imitation.

Trust me, you can try harder to be loving and patient, and you will become the most hateful, impatient jerk around.   And sadly, I have met many Christians who, although they have an outward smile and pleasant demeanor, are just angry impatient grumps.

So to sum up, if you are driven by your outward performance, driven by fear, caught in a cycle of failure, and keep secrets from people, you are probably subscribing to the grumpy gospel.  I bet if you ask those around you they will probably say you are pretty grumpy too.

The good news is, you can be set free.  All you need to do is ask the Holy Spirit to begin to take over–surrender to God being in control in your life.  The really cool part is, you can keep going back and keep getting set free!

Jesus, you living in me is the secret to life.  I want you, the Word made flesh, to be law of my life.  Write the law of the Spirit of Life in my heart and set me free from the law of sin and death that says I have to try harder.  Today I want all that you have for me, more than I could ever ask or imagine.  Amen.